Anxiety was on the rise even before COVID-19, notes Jill Cook, executive director of the American School Counselor Association, but the pandemic made it worse. “The trick,” Cook added, “will be to ascertain whether it is truly a need to rest and recharge as opposed to school avoidance or test avoidance or something else that might be more significant going on where a mental health day is not the solution.”

Cook said parents may have to do a bit of sleuthing to discover if the child is facing a big test or hasn’t completed a major project. Maintaining honest parent-child communication is important. Asking questions, like, “What is making you think or feel like taking a day off would be helpful?” or, “Is there something pressing going on?” can be helpful conversation starters. Parents may need to help students understand if it is an avoidance tactic, then they might not be doing themselves any favors by taking that day.”

Dr. Mary Alvord, a clinical psychologist in Rockville, MD

Clinical psychologist Mary Alvord and founder of Resilience Across Borders, a nonprofit group aimed at helping youth build resilience, notes that mental health days could trigger school avoidance. “Life is filled with discomfort and uncertainty, and we need to learn how to cope with that.” Mental health days should be devoted to building resilience rather than merely retreating from difficult situations.

“If you have a sick kid complaining that their ear hurts, you’re not going to say, ‘Okay, just stay home.’ You’re going to say, ‘We need to go to the pediatrician,” Alvord said. In the same way, it is important not to let a mental health day be a day to stay at home and play video games, but rather to take proactive steps, such as talking to a therapist, practicing strategies to calm down, or challenging negative thought patterns.

Nekeshia Hammond, a clinical psychologist in Brandon, FL

Clinical psychologist Nekeshia Hammond praises the “important” step states are taking to normalize mental health, “because in my experience, some schools are so focused on academics they have completely forgotten that we need children to have positive mental health to work and perform academically.”

Hammond adds that although there have always been kids that will try to “game the system,” by middle or high school “a lot of kids can say, ‘You know what, I need a break.’ And I think we need to really respect that.” Learning to take care of yourself is something parents themselves should practice in order to model emotionally-healthy behavior for their children.

Whether or not states allow mental health days as an excused absence, Hammond thinks parents should consider them an option in their tool kit. “I’m a big advocate of doing what works for your child at the end of the day.”

Chang, Elizabeth. “New school mental health days? How parents can make them work for kids.” The Washington Post, 30 Sept 2022, https://www.washingtonpost.com/parenting/2022/09/30/school-mental-health-day-advice/.

Photo by Johnny McClung on Unsplash