Overachieving students and Type-A types, take note: you may be shooting yourself in the foot.

In an advice column in The Washington Post, Tracy Dennis-Tiwary, a psychology and neuroscience professor in New York City and self-described “recovering perfectionist” urges others like herself to lower their standards in order to improve their mental health.

“Research is unequivocal — there is little upside to perfectionism,” she argues. “The relentless pursuit of flawlessness can lead to low self-worth, depressive and anxiety disorders, high stress in the face of failure, and even suicidality.” Due to their impossibly high standards, perfectionists often achieve fewer of their goals than they aim to, by procrastinating and even avoiding challenges altogether rather than not reach the mark.

There’s a better option, Dennis-Tiwary argues. Excellencism – a term coined by Patrick Gaudreau, professor of psychology at the University of Ottawa – is a healthier alternative. Excellencism involves “setting high standards but not beating yourself up when you don’t meet them.”

Unlike perfectionists, excellencists are open to new experiences, willing to try new problem-solving techniques, and are at peace with making mistakes, as long as they can learn from them in their striving toward achievement.

“Excellencism takes the best parts of perfectionism and lets go of the toxic parts,” she explains. Abandoning the all-or-nothing mentality “opens us up rather than shutting us down.”

She recommends three small steps to move toward excellencism:

1. Pick a task coming up that you tend to be perfectionistic about.
2. List out what “perfect” would look like to you in that task or activity.
3. Pick one item on your list and allow yourself to be less than perfect at it. Let it go. See how you enjoy the activity.

In her case, abandoning the Martha Stewart-model of perfect hostessing by cooking with her guests rather than for them enabled everyone – herself included – to have more fun.

By taking baby steps in one area of your life after another, she encourages, “Soon, you’ll find that shooting for pretty darn good gets you to something that is still excellent — and without the burdens and burnout of perfectionism.”

To learn more, including why perfectionism leads to diminishing returns as well as burnout, read the full article.

Dennis-Tiwary. “Perfectionists: Lowering your standards can improve your mental health.” The Washington Post, 10 Oct 2022, https://www.washingtonpost.com/wellness/2022/10/19/perfectionism-anxiety-excellence/.

Photo by Brett Jordan on Unsplash