In this season of gift giving, the American Psychological Association (APA) explores what happens in your brain when you give a gift.

Gift giving, especially when we give gifts to someone close to us, “activates key reward pathways in our brain, provided we don’t let stress take away the joy of the occasion,” says Emiliana Simon-Thomas, PhD, science director at the Greater Good Science Center at UC Berkeley, which studies “the psychology, sociology, and neuroscience of well-being.”

Research has shown that spending money on someone other than yourself promotes happiness. Why? Giving a loved one something they truly want or donating to a charity that means something to you “creates more interaction between the parts of the brain associated with processing social information and feeling pleasure.”

In one study led by researchers at the University of Zurich, 50 participants were given $100 to spend in the next four weeks. Half were told to spend it on themselves, while the other half were instructed to spend it on someone else. When fMRI scans were performed “to measure activity in the brain associated with generosity and pleasure during a social sharing task,” those who gave the money away not only “had more generous and fair interactions with other people” but “reported higher levels of happiness after the experiment was over.”

“People refer to it as the ‘warm glow,’ this intrinsic delight in doing something for someone else,” explains Simon-Thomas, who specializes in the neuroscience and psychology of compassion, kindness, and gratitude. What separates this good feeling from an experience like receiving an award or winning money is its social component. So in addition to releasing dopamine, “it also activates pathways in the brain that release oxytocin, which is a neuropeptide that signals trust, safety, and connection. It’s often referred to as the ‘cuddle hormone,’” she says.

Oxytocin rewards are not only sustained longer than pure dopamine ones, but the effects on your brain are present during all the aspects of gift giving, from brainstorming what to give to shopping for and wrapping the present. Even anticipating giving the gift makes you feel good.

So is it better to give than receive?

Turns out, decades of research has shown that gift giving and receiving can elicit similar brain responses. “If you’re given a gift from someone who cares about you a lot and you really love what they have gotten you, that is going to yield a very similar oxytocin-laden reward response,” said Simon-Thomas.

However, stress can undo the pleasure of gift giving. Scott Rick, PhD, an associate professor of marketing at the University of Michigan’s Ross School of Business has developed “the tightwad/spendthrift scale, which found that there are real brain and behavioral differences between tightwads and spendthrifts and that they’re related to an emotional experience called ‘the pain of paying.’” Gift giving can provoke a “lot of anxiety over how much you’re spending or whether or not they will like the gift,” Rick said.

Perhaps worst of all is being given a gift you didn’t expect when you don’t have one in return. “If we’re in that awkward situation where we feel obligated and that we failed to deliver an equitable or fair scenario, you might expect to see a response in the brain sort of like the psychological dimension of pain—the kind of activation that signals distress and worry, as opposed to the sensation of physical harm when we get hurt,” Simon-Thomas explained.

How to preserve the joy of giving?

If the hectic busyness of the season is stressing you out, it negates all the positive effects of gift giving. “If you are really stressed that is overwhelming your ability to anticipate or savor the experience, then dopamine and oxytocin aren’t what’s being released in your brain,” says Simon-Thomas.

When financial worries are at the heart of the stress, staying within your budget or setting expectations, explaining to friends and family that you won’t be able to afford what you’d like to give, is useful.

And, of course, gifts don’t have to involve money – or even physical objects. Acts of service or time spent together can be the most meaningful gifts of all. The gift of your presence, your attention can work wonders this holiday season.

To experience the joy of giving a gift, is there one small way you can reach out?

Read the full article here.

Novotney, Anna. “What happens in your brain when you give a gift?” apa.org, 9 Dec 2022, https://www.apa.org/topics/mental-health/brain-gift-giving.

Photo by Kira auf der Heide on Unsplash