The Truth Behind Self Love and Acceptance

Team OSCIE

Sasha Balasingam

Coauthors: Darya Hajiseyedjavadi, Raha Hajiseyedjavadi, and Ahva Ghazanfari

One of my favorite quotes growing up was:

“You are not required to set yourself on fire to keep other people warm.”

You can never please everyone. There’s always someone who has an opinion and when we try to conform to society’s wishes, we lose ourselves in the process.

Why do we conform to what people want us to be just so they’re happy? It is so mentally exhausting and draining to continuously fake who you really are. We end up suppressing our true selves in order to meet the “normal” standard and look.

We don’t often tell ourselves but here are some things we should remind ourselves of every once in a while:

1. I am enough. Through all my imperfections, I am still the only one of me. I learn more about myself and the world everyday.
2. I understand that I need to forgive not only others, but also myself. I am amazing the way I am. There is no need to cover myself up in order to meet someone else’s standards.
3. I am smart and talented and the world is a better place with me in it.

It shouldn’t matter if the people you love, you spend time with, your friends, and your dreams aren’t fully accepted in the world. That’s the thing about our world; we are learning everyday because at the end of the day, we are all humans. We are all learning about different things and people. We might not all think the same but we can’t judge others for thinking differently. Why aren’t you fully embracing your true self? Because you want to please your family? Your friends?

But why should their opinion matter more than what you want? At the end, you are the one living with it everyday. So it’s not up to you to judge other people for their actions and it’s not up to others to judge you for your actions. We are all different, and that’s what makes us so unique.

Especially in the past few months, we have all struggled in some way – whether emotionally, mentally, or physically. And now that we are at home, we are left alone with our own thoughts. That can be both beneficial and harmful at the same time. Maybe this quarantine has allowed you to fully be in tune with your true self and you realized that you want to stop hiding and pretending from this fake persona you are giving out to everyone around you. Or maybe this quarantine made you see some negative aspects of your life that you don’t like. But that’s the good thing about self-love and growth. You don’t have to love every single part of you. But you can accept it. And that is such a powerful message. We learn and grow and change everyday. We conform to meet other people’s wants but hurt ourselves in the process. However, at the end of the day, we are our own person and we deserve to have the best life we can. The more you accept yourself and others, the more love you will have. And like Robert Morely once said, “To fall in love with yourself is the first secret to happiness.”

-Sasha Balasingam