The U.S. Surgeon General says youth are in the midst of a mental health crisis. The CDC’s survey 2011-2021 survey shows that “around 1 in 3 high school girls in the U.S. have seriously considered attempting suicide and more than half of teen girls, 57%, reported feeling “persistently sad or hopeless” — a record high,” according to a CBS News article.

So what in the world can parents do about it?

A number of things, says Alyssa Mairanz, a licensed mental health counselor and owner of Empower Your Mind Therapy.

Keep a pulse on your teen – learn the difference between what’s normal & what’s not

“There’s so many things that are typical with teens that aren’t necessarily cause for concern, like general moodiness (and) fighting with parents,” says Mairanz. However, it’s important to know where the line is drawn between ordinary teen behavior and something more serious. She and Dr. Debra Houry, chief medical officer at the CDC, discuss indicators to watch for.

Something more serious may be going on if your teen:

• Is experiencing intense low moods that last longer than usual
• Becomes isolated or withdrawn, no longer wanting to see friends or socialize with others
• Does not want to get out of bed
• Is engaging in risky behaviors, such as substance abuse or physical aggression
• Displays changes in sleep or appetite

Watch for extreme perfectionism

According to the article, high perfectionism is another sign that frequently goes under the radar.

Pay attention if a teen is “really setting these very high, unrealistic standards for themselves in terms of anything — could be grades, friends, looks,” says Mairantz. “When it’s really that high, it’s definitely a warning sign. These can often lead to depression (and) suicidality.”

Listen to your teen and validate their emotions and experience

If you want your teen to open up, how you talk and listen truly matters.

“When parents are more validating to their child and focus on what they need versus what maybe the parent is assuming, teenagers tend to be much more open and willing to come to their parents when they’re struggling,” says Mairanz.

Resist the urge to minimize their problems with phrases like “Oh, it’s fine,” “It’s not such a big deal,” or “It’s all going to be okay.”

Hold off on offering solutions. If your teen does poorly on a test, don’t lead with, “How can we study better next time?”

Instead, listen. Validate their feelings. Be as “open and nonjudgmental as possible,” says Houry.

“Parents don’t necessarily even realize how their response to their teenagers can have an impact. … But a lot of times, the children really just need the emotional support. Because when they hear a solution, they hear, ‘OK, I’m not doing enough,’ rather than, ‘OK, this is a struggle and it’s understandable that you’re upset.'”

Monitor social media usage

Parents should watch for a “real codependency” between their kid and their phones, where kids use social media endlessly without taking breaks. Phones should not interfere with a teen’s ability to function, go to school, do homework, or spend time with actual friends.

Know your child’s friends and social circles

Keep tabs on your kids and their friends. Get to know their parents as well, says Houry. “That way you’re able to have an open communication with families around you, build that support system and have a good sense of where your child is and what they’re up to,” she advises.

Do not ignore your child’s requests for help

If a child asks for professional help, do not ignore it. Take action.

“Sometimes there’s still a stigma around therapy, especially with parents because (they) want their children to be OK and they take it very personally when we’re not,” Mairanz says. “It’s unfortunately common for parents to be like, ‘You’re fine. This is just normal teenage stuff, you don’t need help.'”

If your child is unable or unwilling to ask for help, know when to step in anyway. Self-harm, withdrawing from school, and changes in sociability are signs it’s time to seek professional help.

If you or someone you know is in emotional distress or crisis, call or text 988 to reach the 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline. You can also chat with the 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline here. 

Moniuszko, Sara. “Teen mental health is in crisis, study shows. What can parents do?” CBS News.com, 6 Mar 2023, https://www.cbsnews.com/news/teen-mental-health-crisis-what-can-parents-do/.