Suicide Prevention: Putting Awareness into Action

by Michelle Ramos, MA, LMFT 

September is Suicide Prevention Month. It’s a month dedicated to raising awareness and discussing how to recognize risk and effectively prevent suicide. It’s a time to remember all the precious lives that have died by suicide and honor their memory. Each one of these individuals had a story that ended too soon. It is our responsibility to carry on their stories and illuminate the strength and courage they had to face each day. We must also remember all the survivors of suicide loss that have lost a loved one. After such an unimaginable loss, they continue on, bravely, enduring the complicated myriad of emotions that come with the tragedy of suicide.

I want to shed light on some of the statistics on suicide. As heartbreaking as this is to read, it is essential to underscore some of our vulnerable populations and their risks.  Suicide is the 2nd leading cause of death for people 10-24 years of age. A National Risk Youth Survey (2019) showed that an average of 15% of high school students seriously considered attempting suicide, with risk increasing in each grade level. And according to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, in 2017, 5 of the top co-occurring problems associated with suicide deaths for youth aged 10-19 included:

• school problems
• conflict with peers
• intimate partner problem
• family relationship problem
• crisis in preceding or upcoming weeks

Let those statistics sink in for a while. For me, when I see statistics for suicide, I see faces of teenagers, of parents that must learn how to move forward without their child, a school and community in mourning of yet another young life lost to suicide. Peers left struggling to understand what went so terribly wrong for their friend or classmate, fearful it will happen again. These statistics represent a person that reached a point of despair that was so unbearable that they could not imagine another option or place to turn. This is deeply saddening. This begs the question, what can we do not just during one month dedicated to suicide prevention, but every day to promote awareness, instill hope, foster healing and, ultimately lessen one’s risk of suicide?      

What Parents Need to Know

Suicide is a public health issue that has layers of complexity with no one single cause. More commonly, many factors can contribute to a person taking their life. Many teens that die by suicide have an underlying mental health condition. It is important to know the risk factors and warning signs and start a conversation about suicide. But it should be emphasized that while understanding risk factors and warning signs is crucial, a person’s vulnerability to suicide is much more complicated than a list of warning signs. Each individual has unique circumstances and pain. If you are worried your child may be thinking about suicide, it’s important to ask them directly about their thoughts of suicide. Many people are fearful that asking about or mentioning suicide will put the idea in a person’s mind, but this is not true. 

On the contrary, allowing space to express and process suicidal thoughts can be life-saving. It is normal to feel inclined to tell your child to “stop thinking those things” or “things aren’t that bad.” While well-intentioned, this language is not helpful. A more effective approach is to remain calm and come from a place of compassion, empathy, curiosity, and above all, expressing unconditional love for your child. It is important to validate their experience and allow them space to talk through it. It can be difficult not to go into immediate problem-solving or lecturing mode, but this approach can cause your child to shut-down.

Model Resiliency, Hope, and Future-Oriented Mindset

It’s imperative that parents model proper coping and problem-solving skills during high-stress or challenging situations. Helping your child learn essential life skills such as critical thinking, stress management, and conflict resolution can help them work through a moment of high emotion or crisis. Your child can significantly benefit from observing you normalize that life will have low and high points. Take opportunities to demonstrate how to work through a situation with resilience and hope. 

Common Risk Factors (not limited to)

• Having a mental health condition, including depression & anxiety
• Loss of or conflict with close friends or family members
• History of physical or sexual abuse or exposure to violence
• Problems with alcohol or drugs
• Physical or medical issues, for example, becoming pregnant or having a sexually transmitted infection
• Being the victim of bullying
• Public humiliation
• Being uncertain of sexual orientation/gender identity
• Exposure to the suicide of a family member or friend
• Family history of mood disorder or suicidal behavior

 Top Warning Signs (not limited to)

• Feeling like a burden
• Being isolated/sudden withdrawal
• Increased anxiety
• Feeling trapped or in unbearable pain
• Increased substance use
• Looking for a way to access lethal means
• Increased anger or rage
• Extreme mood swings
• Expressing hopelessness
• Sleeping too little or too much
• Giving away prized personal belongings 
• Engaging in risky or self-destructive behaviors
• Talking, writing, or posting about suicide — for example, making statements such as “I’m going to kill myself”, or “I won’t be a problem for you much longer,” “Nothing matters anymore”, “Everyone would be better off without me.”
• Making plans for suicide

Reducing Risk

Preventing suicide is everyone’s business and MUST be a community effort. Parents/caregivers can help by:

• Learning risk factors and warning signs
• Reducing access to lethal means in home (firearms, medications, alcohol, ropes, cords, sharp objects (i.e., knives, razors, scissors)
• Understanding how to talk openly about suicide
• Knowing your child’s friends and social activities
• Decrease conflict, increase family bonding 
• Encourage/Model self-care and exercise
• Consider the value of psychotherapy and possible medication
• Participate and advocate in your community for mental health wellness programs and suicide prevention

Schools/Community/Healthcare:

• Reducing stigma and creating open and safe spaces to discuss suicide risk and prevention
• Teaching youth concrete and practical coping and problem-solving skills, especially around relationship and school issues
•  Creating community and school programs to increase a sense of belonging and connectedness
•  Healthcare/Mental health providers making services accessible and ensuring quality mental health care and effective treatment targeted at patient safety and suicide prevention
• Responsible reporting on suicide in schools, community, and media

Accessing Support

If you believe your child is at immediate risk of suicide, call 911, your county’s mental health mobile crisis center, or take your child to the nearest hospital. If your child is not in an immediate suicidal crisis, have suicide and crisis resources readily available such as:

• National Suicide Prevention 24 hr Lifeline: 1-800-273-8255
• Crisis Text Line: Text TALK to 741-741
• The Trevor Project Lifeline: 1-866-488-7386
• Trans Hotline: 1-877-565-8860

There is HOPE

While talking about suicide can be difficult, it’s important to remember this may be the first opportunity your child has to talk about their thoughts. It may be worrisome to wonder what your child’s response will be, but if they are having suicidal thoughts or seriously contemplating suicide, consider how scared and confused they must feel. I believe most suicides are preventable. I also know there is a great need for ongoing research around what makes one person more susceptible than another and how mental health issues such as depression and anxiety can increase risk. We all must do our part to open up the conversation on suicide, reduce stigma around mental health, and work collaboratively to ensure we are arming our youth with the support and tools they need during their most vulnerable moments.

For parents reading this, I hope you never have to experience the pain of losing a child to suicide. I hope you gained some insight into what to take notice of and begin that conversation with your child or loved one. For parents that are survivors of suicide loss, my heart goes out to you. You and your child will be in my thoughts not only during September but each day as I do my part as a mental health provider and advocate for suicide prevention. I hope you have found the support you need in your community to move towards healing while sharing your story. Your voices are vital in this cause. 

For those of you struggling with suicidal thoughts, you are not alone. We see you and care for you. Reach out to parents, friends, or trusted adults at school, church, community organizations, or your doctor or mental health professional. Call or text a crisis hotline. Do an act of kindness for yourself and tell yourself that you matter. Take a chance and tell someone what you are going through and how they can help you. It will be scary and uncomfortable, but you will feel a sense of relief. Those feelings of despair, hopelessness, and unbearable pain will pass, and healing is possible. As I’ve told many of my clients: hold on, there are other options. Then put your hand over your heart, focus on your heartbeat, and remember you have something unique to offer this world. So keep going; there is hope.